Posted by Maripy on March 15th, 2014 under Personal
I know that I should be finishing orders and themes, making some new premades, but lately I have been really anxious and out of myself for no apparent reason.
So, first of all I started reading Rainbow Rowell’s Attachments and I swear that book is bewitched, like Ron Weasley’s uncle’s book (yeah, big Potterhead right here). I started it three days ago thinking I didn’t think I was going to get too hooked because it usually takes me around a week or two to finish reading a book (THANK YOU, INTERNET FOR DRIFTING MY ATTENTION AWAY) and I am like 20 pages away from ending, but I don’t want it to end!
Since I’m super anxious and I can’t keep myself from checking the last paragraph of the book ever, I simply couldn’t do that with that book because a) it’s an e-book and my finger may fall off if I had to swift until the last page, 2) I am reading it on my iPhone and it was expensive so the chances of breaking/wasting the screen while doing that were so high I realized I wasn’t going to spend twenty minutes flickering virtual pages to know if Lincoln ever makes it to the last paragraph, 3) I owe myself some surprises, especially when it comes to books.
So yeah, I started reading it and got hooked immediately. To be honest I am not one of those persons who buy a book without considering it may even catch my attention at that moment (and that’s how poor Fyodor Dostoevsky’s Crime and Punishment ended up in my bookshelf on chapter 12), and I am not an avid YA or romance books reader. Yeah, I have read John Green’s books because I like John Green and I like the stories and the characters, but other than that I haven’t even tried other authors or titles.
But this book turned out to be my big fat heart break, and the first book I can feel my heartbeat rising because Lincoln and Beth know each other, yet they can’t find each other. Last night I went to bed at 8.30 because I wanted to know how it ends, I wanted to know what happens in the end, if he finally talks to her, confronts her, they kiss, whatever? I read about Sam and my heart stopped and I could literally feel the knot in my throat when she breaks Lincoln heart. Then Jennifer’s pregnancy and I was going like no, no, no, all the time.
I have a really good feeling about this book, that it’ll end with a happy ending. That they’ll finally meet and Jennifer will have her baby. I swear to God it has been a very long time since I feel like this when I read a book, and I think the last book that hooked me like this was Wicked, like 7 years ago, because even if Paper Towns got me immediately and hooked me in the blink of an eye I cheated on that one and knew there was a relatively happy ending.
Also, I am in charge of two houses now, baby sitting 4 cats and 4 dogs, which sucks and I haven’t done that since 2008 when I was in senior year in high school, but whatever. As I take care of this house I’ll manage to finish my requests, and the last week’s been so nice to me, seeing some new familiar faces around, like Shannon from Laura-Osnes.com or Alex from Chenoa Web.
To be honest, I was a little bit demoralized after the break I took in early February because I don’t want to be the kind of designer who asks you to pay half now and half later, or make a requester pay the whole design before the preview. I believe in trust and respect, the same way I trust and respect you to try my best to code and design the theme (because bugs happen but I don’t really care if you ordered the theme 2 months ago: if you’re having issues using it or noticed a bug and the theme is still up I will help). Don’t get me wrong, I have one order cancelled and even if it gave me a mini existential crisis I understood that person had been given a theme for free and I understood those things happen and thanked the person for letting me know she was canceling the order before I went further with it.
And it was my first cancelled order ever and I thought everyone had the decency to let the designer know they won’t be needing the theme no more, but silly me, some months ago someone requested a theme with certain pictures and I spent an afternoon trying to make the suitable for the header which was somehow bigger than the pictures they wanted me to use. Two days into the design I was done with it and about to code, and then I stopped by the requester website and noticed they had a new theme with the pictures I was sent (it isn’t my intention to shade on people because I don’t do that and I have my friends to talk to about this), so I contacted the requester and asked if they still wanted the theme. They simply went with a not at this moment, thanks. And it hit me that not everyone keeps in mind that I do spend days working on it independently from my regular job, and so I thought: should I start asking for a trust deposit? I don’t like trust deposits, I feel like I’m pointing at somebody with a gun and yelling at them, and I’m not like that.
I can’t compute with that kind of things going around and I also can’t deal with making people a theme that looks exactly the same to the other themes going around (tastes apart, we’re all human and different). I have been professionally built to offer my clients something that will set them apart from the other websites and even if this is not a photography business I can translate what I was taught from a photographic point of view to a theme I make and build. So I decided from now on, whoever doesn’t even bother giving me the heads up, I won’t work for them. I highly doubt this person will come around, and if they do, well…
And I am planning on retirin the current premades because they’re too old and too ugly for me right now (hey, I liked them back then…), changing this current design to something simpler livejournalish, finish the current order I’m working on and, finally, finish my Dan Radcliffe gallery theme.
Anyway, I just wanted to make this post, which are rare in me; to write something and don’t make it look like I only come by to update the orders statuses. I am not prone to sit down and write my heart out in the shape of an entry, but I may as well try, right?
Also, watch Kill Your Darlings, it’s phenomenal.